Hello! Today, I am sharing a story about seeking connections and creating a sense of belonging in your new country. As expats, we often find ourselves facing a new world filled with unfamiliar faces and customs. Amid this exciting yet disconcerting experience, the role of human connections becomes incredibly crucial. The relationships we form, the friendships we nurture, provide an anchor that helps us feel grounded amidst the shifting tides of change.
Craving to belong is a common denominator in the expat narrative. When we cross borders, we step into new geographies and enter an invisible territory of adaptation. The onus of building a life from scratch in unfamiliar places can be daunting. But, it’s here that the importance of genuine friendships comes to the forefront. These relationships serve as anchors in our evolving lives, stabilizing us amidst turbulence.
Allow me to introduce a person who helped me anchor my journey: John Knight. His influence transcends the physical boundaries of the campus and the academic contours of the classroom, where I and many other international students met him. He was my professor in my first year in the United States. He quickly became more than that. He became a guide. He became a friend.
In classrooms filled with international students, John didn’t just teach how to write in English. He shared life experiences. He helped us identify and name our cultural discrepancies and synergies. He cared about our journeys, about our lives. He cared about the individuals we were evolving into. His compassion was not confined to class time, it was a constant in our lives on campus.
What struck me most about John was his ability to truly listen, not merely hear. Listening is an act of empathy, an endeavor to understand someone else’s perspective. John excelled at it. He listened when I shared my failures, my doubts, and my dreams.
He cheered me on during my best times and celebrated my achievements. But it was during my difficult days that I truly valued his friendship. He was one of the first people I came out to as a gay man. He wasn’t just a sympathetic ear, he made sure I didn’t discount my worth.
Now, after all these years, John is more than just a memory from my early immigrant days. He’s a friend I cherish, an influence that continues to shape me. His teachings equipped me to thrive in a new country. He taught me how to be a better educator, how to pay forward the kindness and empathy I received. Above all, he showed me the essence of genuine friendship.
Our lives abroad extend beyond exploring new places and learning new skills. They are defined by the people we meet, the friendships we create, and the anchors we discover, like John for me. As you start your expat or immigrant adventure, don’t just chase experiences or social media posts. Instead, focus on forming relationships and finding your own anchors. They will be your guiding lighthouses. They will help you transform your new location into a place you can truly call home.
Roque Neto 