Transactional Living: How Consumerism Distorts Our Relationships

Every day, we navigate a minefield of constant offers and tailored promotions. A glance at our phones reveals ads tied to yesterday’s search history, while a coffee shop visit might include a coupon nudging us toward a “special deal.” It often feels like we are trapped in a cycle of endless transactions, riding a conveyor belt of convenience and consumption. Although I have written about this topic before, the barrage of ads over the holidays inspired me to revisit it from a new perspective.

In a consumer-driven world, our identity often becomes tethered to the role of a client, shaping how we perceive ourselves and others. This mindset reduces interactions that could be genuine and meaningful into transactional experiences. A friendly chat with a barista, for instance, once a moment of spontaneous connection, becomes part of a business transaction tied to the expectation of a tip. Even deeper human experiences, like companionship, intimacy, or emotional support, are reduced to something to be bought or rented, stripping away the relational essence that defines them.

This shift impacts not only our wallets but also how we perceive ourselves and others. In a society where consumption reigns and the very act of consuming is ritualized as a sacred goal, isolation can creep in, and relationships risk becoming transactional. Ultimately, we stop seeing others as people and instead view them as products or services. I still remember when I was a professor and a graduate student reminded me that they were paying for the course and, therefore, deserved the grade they wanted, as though learning and intellectual growth could be reduced to a simple purchase. Their comment revealed how consumerism reduces even education to a product, where the “customer” feels entitled to a desired outcome rather than the journey or growth it entails.

When we see others primarily through the lens of what they can provide us, we lose the depth of human connection. The barista becomes a smiling face for a tip, the professor a service provider for a grade, and even the therapist is reduced to an hour-long confidant for a fee. This mindset isolates us, transforming the world into a series of transactions and eroding the bonds that make life meaningful. Recognizing the grip of this mindset allows us to refocus on our humanity, which is a shared space where connections are built not on what we pay, but on who we are.

What is at stake is our humanity, our ability to connect authentically with others. Beneath the advertisements, apps, and economic exchanges lies the truth that we are more than clients or consumers. We are complex, relational beings seeking understanding, companionship, and meaning beyond what is for sale.

Perhaps the next time we encounter a personalized ad or a perfectly timed suggestion, we can pause. That brief moment of reflection offers an opportunity to step outside the role of the consumer, reclaim a sense of community, and engage with the world in ways that aren’t measured in dollars and cents. When we choose to nurture relationships and experiences not tied to transactions, we reaffirm that life is richer than anything money can buy.

Because at its core, life is not a product. It is made of shared moments, genuine connections, and the unquantifiable value of simply being human.

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I will see you next week!